The Regular
by galabad
Summary: A cafe customer accidentally discovers the Mew Mews' secret identities. OC


Alex sighed. He had been to the cafe many times before, but almost always with his friend Keiko. When they were together he had no reservations about eating here, but by himself he hesitated. 

The cafe was rather...feminine. It stood in the center of a grassy field, two stories high, with a multi-domed roof, walls painted in various shades of pink and hearts everywhere. Even the windows were heart shaped. Alex couldn't help feeling a bit self-conscious about going in by himself, but they did have some of the best food in town, and it didn't hurt one bit that the waitresses were so attractive. He paced nonchalantly in front of the menu board posted out front until he was sure no one was watching, then bolted through the front door.

The inside of the building was much like the outside, pink and heart-laden, filled with small round tables. Alex stepped up to the greeting podium. Zakuro was performing hostess duties. The tall, statuesque young woman had a curious purple tint in her long, straight hair. She wore a matching purple uniform consisting of a very short and frilly dress and heart-shaped apron, all trimmed in white. Black sneakers with purple laces completed the ensemble.

"Hey," she said sleepily, her eyes half closed. "Just you today?"

"Yeah, Keiko had to work," Alex answered.

Zakuro turned up a corner of her mouth into a tight grin, just about the most expression Alex had ever seen the stoic server display. "Pudding has the day off, but Mint is on duty," she said slyly. "You want one of her tables?"

Alex leaned to one side to peer around the tall girl. Sure enough, he spotted Mint sitting at her private table by the kitchen door. Her wavy black hair was up in two round buns on the sides of her head and she wore a uniform that was blue, but otherwise identical to Zakuro's. As usual, she was sipping at a cup of tea while the rest of the cafe staff struggled to keep on top of the afternoon rush. It was no big secret that Alex had a crush on Mint, although he was nearly always at odds with the lazy, stuck-up prima donna. Their verbal sparring was often a source of entertainment for the cafe workers and customers alike.

"Tempting," Alex said, "but I'd actually like to be served at some point. Is Ichigo on?"

"Sure." Without another word Zakuro led him to an empty table and unceremoniously dropped a menu in front of him. "She'll get here when she gets here."

He had barely cracked the menu when a perky girl with short red hair and a matching uniform approached him. "Hi, Alex! What can I get for you?" She wrote down his order for a slice of cherry pie and tea and retreated to the kitchen.

Alex surveyed the rest of the cafe as he sat waiting. He noticed that Lettuce was working the next area over. Almost the exact opposite of the outgoing Ichigo, Lettuce was shy and bookish. Her uniform was green to match her shoulder-length hair and she wore a pair of thick glasses. She was somewhat clumsy and uttered barely a word as she weaved between tables balancing piles of dishes, using all her concentration to keep from dropping them.

A few minutes later, Ichigo returned. She set the pie and tea on the table, picked up the teapot and prepared to pour. Just as she leaned over, Lettuce stumbled into her from behind. The teapot's lid flew off and steaming hot liquid spilled onto Alex's shirt and lap. He let out a yelp and jumped up, causing Ichigo to step back. She again bumped into Lettuce, who completely lost her balance and fell face first into a chocolate cake at the next table.

Alex pulled on the front of his t-shirt, trying to stretch it as far as possible from his skin. The bespectacled waitress wiped the gooey icing from her glasses and turned to see what had happened. As the situation became clear she gasped and started to bow and apologize profusely. "No worries, Lettuce," Alex said as cheerfully as possible through pain-gritted teeth. "I'm sure it's only second degree. Now, if you'll excuse me..." He bowed his legs and quickly hobbled to the restroom.

Ichigo was almost done wiping up the spilled tea when she heard her name called from the kitchen. She glanced at the swinging doors and saw her boss looking at her, crooking his finger in a beckoning motion. She strode over to see what he wanted.

"We've detected alien activity very close by, and getting closer," he whispered. "We need to evacuate the building. Make an announcement; tell everyone one of our appliances went haywire. Say it's nothing serious, but just to be safe we're closing for the day. Have the others pass out free meal vouchers to the customers."

"You got it!" Ichigo saluted and set to her task.

Alex stood in the restroom stall, stripped down to his shorts and doing his best to pat his clothes dry with paper towels. Fortunately he'd been able to get them off before the hot tea could do anything more than sting him. _At least the stains won't show so much on these dark colors,_ he thought.

He dressed himself once the clothes were satisfactory and exited the restroom. He stopped short just past the corner leading back to the dining room. The entire place was suddenly empty except for the staff. They didn't seem to notice him; Zakuro was staring out a front window and the other waitresses were huddled in front of the kitchen door, watching her. "All clear", Zakuro muttered.

"And not a moment too soon!" Mint shouted, pointing to the center of the room. Alex's eyes followed her hand. As he watched, the very air began to ripple. He ducked back behind the corner and rubbed his eyes. When he again peeked out, someone else was there. No, something!

The creature, for that was all he could think to call it, resembled nothing so much as a squirrel, but grown to an enormous size. It stood easily ten feet tall at the shoulder and possessed great gnashing fangs and glistening claws. The fur all over its body - especially its colossal tail - had stiffened to the point of being more like spikes than hair. Its red eyes seemed to glow cruelly as it surveyed the room.

For what seemed like an eternity, Alex could only stare in horror at the thing from his hiding place. Suddenly he heard the waitresses' voices shout something about "mew mew metamorphosis" and the cafe was filled with multicolored lights so bright the young man had to shade his eyes. When the light faded he again found himself transfixed, but this time by the girls.

Each had undergone some sort of transformation. Ichigo had the ears and tail of a cat, and Zakuro had those of some kind of canine. Lettuce sprouted two long, thin green ribbons from the top of her head that wound and twisted around her body. Mint now sported blue wings and tail feathers. Each girl was also clad in an outfit that matched the color of her uniform but was quite different. They had become even more revealing, and included accessories like boots, gloves and garters.

The monstrous squirrel growled at the girls, then stopped short and sniffed the air. Its great head swung in Alex's direction. Alex sensed that the thing was about to pounce, and didn't want to be trapped in the small hallway if it did. He lunged forward and towards the front door. As he ran along the wall, the creature curved its tail over its head and loosed a volley of barbs into Alex's path. Alex stopped just short of being impaled, and the squirrel snatched him up in a massive paw. He could feel the life squeezing out of him as the beast pulled him closer to its gaping maw.

From somewhere behind the monster, Alex heard the shout of "Mint ribbon echo!" and the squirrel was silhouetted by a corona of blue light. The beast howled in pain and fury and tossed Alex aside like a toy. He felt the crunch of his back slamming into the cafe wall, and then all was darkness.


End file.
